Saturday, January 22, 2005

Hey its me Sam.

I'm up looking around here at Gregs place. Man you should see all the stuff this guy has. And my eyes on his herd of ponies. Wow ! Any how I should hit the hay. It was a long ride from Fort Scott to Fresno,CA.

I was setten on ole Gregs front porch for a long while. I think I startled him. He came sneaken up on me.

Any how after we met he gave me a chance to get a new start here in
Fresno. Greg introduced me to Mom. Man she is the best. Poor girl
she's sick though. She went to sleep. She had a long day at the DR
today.

Me and Greg jumped in his pony. Thats what he calls his truck. I really wanted to ride in his 64 Caddy. But we took the truck and off to WalMart we went.

I did not realize how big Fresno was. Its petty nice here. Greg said he was taken me to Clovis,CA this week. Its a old west town,its where he works. I cant wait to go. He said they had a Statue of Festus there from Gunsmoke. Festus lived in Fresno. Greg said he actually went to ole Festus' house before. There is also the original bank were there were actually famous bank robberies. Thats right up my alley.


After we went to Walmart we came back to Gregs and worked with the
horses. Greg was tired and hit the hay. I had a fun night with Greg.
I cannot wait to see what we do tomorrow.

See ya later
Sam

Good morning ranchers. I'm having a good time here in California. I
been helping Greg out with his herd of ponies. He's been doing allot
of horse trading lately. He even let me in on where he keeps all his
loot ! I met Greg's niece the other night. She knitted me up a great
looking black scarf it gets kinda cold here at night . Greg's
mom has been treating me the best. I also met Greg's brother, sister
and sister-in-law. We still have not gone out to Old Town Clovis yet
but we will. Well I better get back to watching the horses and
guarding the loot.

See ya round.

Sam

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Wednesday February 2nd, 2005

Hey Ranchers,

It's me, Sam Cobra! Heh, heh, heh . . . I got away with the loot out there in California, but Greg's posse was too hot on my tail for me to steal his horses . . . I couldn't risk a shootout with so
many deputies coming after me. But where could I go with all of this cash?

I needed a place to lay low and enjoy myself, somewhere I could play some poker, toss back some drinks, and court some very pretty ladies . . .Somewhere I heard that there was the perfect hideout in the Midwest, way off in Indiana . . . a place where the bad guys rule!

It is run by a friendly history professor and his lovely wife, Brenda . . . I hear Professor Jim used to live in Las Vegas, Nevada--the town they call Sin City. No way that Indiana can be Vegas, but it is definitely worth a try . . .So, anyway, I cut and run, grabbed the nearest hoss I could steal, outran Greg's vigilantes (er, posse) and hopped a train heading east. I made it! Burrrrr!

It's cold in the Midwest, but not as bad as I feared. And the hideout
looks like it is going to be great!! I see the Wild Horse Saloon, a casino with poker, a roulette wheel, and a craps table.
Ah, all that loot I stole in Fresno is going to go to a "good cause" this week, I tell you!And I see that there ARE a LOT of very pretty
ladies--some of 'em look like Barbies in Western clothes, some like Southern belles--and is that Jane West I see? Heh, Heh, Heh! Oh, yeah, I'm going to break some more hearts around here!!

Best of all? No sign of Johnny Law. Well, let's head for that saloon and have a drink! This money is burning a hole in my pocket and I want to get started right away!Watch out, Ranchers, when I get tired of this
hideout or run out of money, I may be headed your way to get more funds or steal your best horse . . .

Your favorite Renegade,

Travelin' Sam Cobra

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Thursday, February 3rd, 2005

Howdy Gang,

It's me, Sam Cobra, still hiding out in Indiana. I've been having a LOT of
fun--there are a lot of cool things to do here. I've gambled, drank, chased ladies, met a lot of "interesting" characters,and haven't seen a singlelawman!

Professor Jim is okay, but he keeps following me around with that darned digital camera for some reason or other. I told him that if he kept it up, I was going to shoot him with my very fine set of custom guns stolen from Noah and Terri!

He assured me he isn't doing it to tip off the law, only for "publicity" purposes, that the Midwestern Hideout needs to show off the celebrities who stop by . . .

Well, I ain't Paris Hilton, doggone it!

Still, I like his wife, Brenda, a lot. She is nice and good lookin', too! She said I looked "very jaunty" in my nice knit scarf . . . I almost shot her
for that, but decided it must be a compliment . . .

I've hooked up with some other outlaws--the Comanchero looks a lot like me, when you see the pictures, look at our faces, I think you'll notice
the resemblance. Probably just a coincidence or something.

We're planning a few jobs while we're here . . . I've also met some women, but I'm not going to kiss and tell!

There's also a preacher around these parts who is a real Bible-thumper. Some of the bad guys down at the saloon warned me about him. "Stay clear of the sky pilot, if you can. He'll do his best to save your soul and
release you from a life of sin. He'd like nothing better than to reform an
infamous outlaw like Sam Cobra . . ." I saw him from a distance and ducked down an alley to avoid him.

And, of course, I met ole' Johnny West. This guy has been living with Jim since 1971 or 1972 (Jim's mom can't remember which). As usual, we don't get along. Something about me and Johnny, every time we meet up, it ends up in trouble! I'll give him another chance before I shoot
him, though.

The Wild Horse Saloon is quite a place. It is a lot bigger than those Circle X Ranch houses I've stayed in--I notice that Jim has 4 or 5 of those Circle
X Ranch houses sitting around, but I'm glad none of them are
set up. I prefer the saloon . . . He's got a couple of those Fort Apache sets, too, but I haven't seen any soldiers around.

The Comanchero has promised to introduce me to some friends of his. He says that Indiana DOES really mean "Land of Indians" and that is how he makes a living as an outlaw here. He runs guns and sells bootleg whiskey to them, too.

He says that the soldiers are sometimes a problem, but he knows just how to avoid them. I hope so . . . but we do need to pull something off in a hurry! I played poker most of the night and was doing pretty well (I
cheated, of course), but then I went to the casino and lost a LOT of cash playing craps and even more on the roulette wheel.

If my luck stays this way, I may end up playing chess!

Professor Jim has a ton of books. Whole rooms full of them . . . I can't believe it. Shelf after shelf of books on history--biographies and studies of war and books about nearly every topic you can imagine.

Crazy! I even found one shelf that had three or four books by Jim! I
looked 'em over and . . . well, they're pretty boring! But he does have the whole Louis L'Amour collection, so I grabbed a book and settled down in an armchair with a pipe of good tobacco and enjoyed it for a while . . . gave me chance to work out my plans in my mind while I read. I'm pretty amazing that way--being able to think of more than one thing at a time.

I hope Professor Jim has time to take me to campus--I'd like to spend
some time at place where women outnumber the men 70% to 30%! I'm
sure I could charm a bunch of 18-22 year old girls the same as I can
these women in the hideout . . . heh, heh, heh! I'm working on my
lines, just in case we get the chance to go to the university.

Brenda works in downtown Indy, for an investment bank, up on the 31st
floor of the tallest building in the city. She promised to let me come
down there on Monday and see the view. Hhhhmmmm. It ain't gonna
be mountains, but what else yah gonna do in central Indiana? Gotta
get my bearings somehow . . .

The big news is that we're heading east tomorrow--a quick trip over Ohio
way. This is good . . . I think we're not far from Jill Koehler and her herd
of horses . . . heh, heh, heh. If I can figure out a way to get to Dayton,
I'll have some of the best hoss flesh in the country!! But it will mean
having to take over the stagecoach by force and Jim seems pretty handy with a shootin' iron--never heard of a history professor with so many guns before! Must be that Kentuckian in him or something--and, besides, I think he's bringing Johnny West to keep an eye on me. Jill's herd
is probably out of reach, after all. But I'll be ready, if the chance comes . . .

Otherwise, I'm gonna stay at the hideout for a while longer. I gotta get a bigger grubstake before I hit the trail. The bad news is, the weather is warming up around here. Most of the snow is gone and it is feeling like spring . . . that posse may catch up with me if I stay in one place too long . . . so I gotta get busy with my plans--I wanna get out of here no later than the middle of next week, if I can. Wonder which way I should go? How am I gonna get outta here? Somebody said the stagecoach
comes through here--maybe I'll buy a ticket? Naw, I think I'll hold it
up and take the loot!

Well, this has been the longest message ever and . . . yikes! Here comes that preacher!! I'm heading for the Wild Horse . . . meet me there and you can buy me and whatever lady I'm with a drink . . .

Planning something big,

Sam Cobra on the Dodge

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Saturday, February 5th, 2005

Howdy Ranchers,

It's me, Sam Cobra, again. I wanted to update you all on my time in Indiana with Jim and Brenda.

Brenda is really into crafting and so is Jim's family, so we went over to Ohio yesterday so Brenda could work with Jim's mom, aunts, and cousins. Jim's Johnny West and my new lady friend (Barbie as gunfighter Ellen--i.e. Sharon Stone in "The Quick and The Dead") went along, too.
I met Jim's parents and his aunts and one of his uncles and some of his many cousins.

They all remembered Johnny West right away and told stories about Jim playing with him (and "me"!) when he was little. We spent HOURS at Jim's aunt's house, where everybody was working on quilts or scrapbooking or some other crafty kind of thing. We got to Jim's parents' house and went to bed in the wee hours of the morning. After playing so much poker every night this week, I was beat and ready to sleep.

But, no, Jim got us up early and Johnny West took me around and showed me where he and Jim used to play. Jim's family lives way out in the country and his parents have a big house in the woods. They still own a smaller house where they lived when Jim and Johnny West
used to play--so we walked around, through the mud and snow and I saw the sights. I saw the porch where Johnny spent so many hours fighting with renegades and Indians. Johnny told me about Jim's mom's rule when he first came to live there: "Johnny West toys aren't allowed off the porch!" It was a big porch and they added sections to it over the years. Johnny showed me where Jim wrote his name in the cement when they poured one section in 1978. Jim was ten and his brother,
Joe, was only six, when they did that. And we saw the creek that runs through the big section of woods that Jim's mom and dad own and now live in. They bought the land and later built their dream ranch house on it. There's lots of game around and I think I could probably hideout there, if I have to! Jim's dad built a big bridge across the creek and we went out on it to look down into the woods. It was nice to see where Jim played and hunted and kissed the little girl from up the road . . .

Johnny talked with Jim's mom and dad for a while and we all listened to
some of the stories they told. Mom Fuller said, "Oh, yes, I remember you, Johnny West, I must have picked you and your stuff up a million times!"

Then, we got in the "stagecoach" and came back here to Indianapolis.
I've got a lot more to do while I'm here, so I think I'm going to get
some rest--after all, only a few more hours till the sun goes down
and the good times begin down at the Wild Horse Saloon!!

Fun as it is, I'm worried that this bright sunshine and warm weather will
allow the posse to catch up to me . . .

Your favorite outlaw,

Travelin' Sam Cobra

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Howdy Gang,

Another update from your ole' renegade pal, Sam Cobra, still hiding out in Indiana.

Those of you who have been reading my reports and have looked at the pictures from "The Land of Indians" know that I have been spending time with my lady friend, Gunfighter Ellen. Well, we pulled a couple of really big jobs here the past couple of days. After putting together a gang with the help of the Comanchero, we held up the stage and robbed a bank as well. The loot is just pouring in! To celebrate, we went
down to the local restaurant, Delmonico's, and had fine dinner, complete with wine, champagne, and after-dinner drinks.

I was ready to go to the Wild Horse to play poker, but Ellen asked me to wait a few minutes while she went to her room at the Hotel. When she came back, she had a nicely wrapped box--a gift for her "new beaux"! I was stunned, but awful glad that I stole a big diamond necklace that I had ready to give her. Well, anyway, I opened my gift from Gunfigher Ellen and found . . .

A King Cobra rig made by Stevo!!

Yep, this definitely a keeper and I am going to take it with me when I head out of here sometime soon. I'll have to leave the lovely Ellen behind, but I'll take this gun and holster set with me as a keepsake. Every time I blast some lawman down in the street, I'll think of that beautiful blonde and my time in the Midwest . . . looks like
Indy is turning out to be even more profitable than I imagined.

--sigh-- I DO think I'm in love! She's beautiful, she's an outlaw, she can ride and shoot, and she gives me guns . . .

Hhhhmmm. I wonder where my new girlfriend got this rig?

I don't care to know, but I'm going to enjoy what time I have left with her, I tell you. I'm gonna give her some "Sam Cobra" love the next few days so she'll always remember me, too.

Off to the Wild Horse, with my new rig strapped on and this fine King Cobra Colt weighing heavy and comfortable on my side,

Renegade Sam Cobra

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Wednesday, February 9th, 2005 (Morning)

The Bank Job:

Hello Gang,

It's me, Runaway Sam Cobra, still on the job in Indiana. Let me fill you in on a few things thathave happened in the past coupleof days.

First, Johnny West and I have been getting along real well. I mentioned that he showed me around on Professor Jim's trip to Ohio--even howed me the cellar door where Jim once fell down, ten feet below--Johnny
thought for sure he'd lost Jim that time! Johnny's been too friendly, though--I bet he is on to me . . .

Second, Gunfighter Ellen and I have been working with the Comanchero to put together a real gang of outlaws here in the Midwestern Hideout. That's why I haven't checked in with you all for a while. We've got some mean characters working with us here--Billy the Kid, Ahumado the Black Vaquero (fresh from Marxman last week!), and a few other desperados have joined up to help make me rich!

So, with these accomplices in tow, we robbed the bank! Ellen and I cased the place first, with me posing as a traveling French artist--I even painted Ellen's portrait in front of a crowd on the street to make my story work! Sam Cobra is a man of many talents, as all the ladies know! Heh, Heh, Heh!

Well, when the mining company payroll came in and was deposited in the bank, we made our move. We waited until lunch time, when the teller was off eating and only the banker and his wife were in the building. We covered our faces with bandanas and pulled our guns . . . and made off with a PILE of loot!!

We quickly scattered throughout the hideout, so no one would suspect.
But we've heard rumors and seen activity . . . things may be getting
hot around here! To cover myself, I went with Professor Jim to the
university and hung around his office for the day. I thought it
best to lay low, because we have another big job to pull tomorrow!

The stagecoach from Canada is due to arrive and we're going to rob
it . . .

Well, I've got to get going, gang. Ellen is safely away in her hotel room and there's this little blonde down at the Wild Horse who has caught my eye . . . ah, those lovely saloon girls!!

Off to steal AND CHEAT,

Your favorite outlaw,

Runaway Sam Cobra

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Hello Ranchers,

It's me, Runaway Sam Cobra, sending you a final message from the Midwestern Hideout at Professor Jim's in Indiana. It is time to move! I've got to get out of here . . . let me explain . . .

Sure enough, I knew that I shouldn't have trusted that Johnny West! He was on to me the entire time and found out that I've been rustling steers and horses and robbing banks and cheating at cards and . . . well, you get the picture. He has formed a posse and a whole band of lawmen are after me now. They're talking about hanging me when they catch
me. Even Secret Agent Mike Hazard, who is working for the Pinkertons, is lookingfor me . . .

On top of that, some trappers I robbed have been seen around town and I hear that Chief Cherokee, Geronimo, Fighting Eagle and other Indians are mad because I stole some of their ponies.

And, wouldn't you know it, a Mexican saw me marking cards and informed Doc Holliday and Wyatt Earp and they are after me as well.

So, the heat is on! But Ellen and I had been planning a big job and we
pulled it off this morning. We took our gang of outlaws--me, Ellen, Billy
the Kid, the Comanchero, Ahumado, Dangerous Dan, and a gunman named Jack Armstrong who wears a black suit and carries two black-handled pistols--and hit the stagecoach from Canada. When Dangerous Dan came to town the other day, he told me about a HUGE shipment
of cash and gold coming in on that stage. Well, it was being driven by
Jimmy West (I almost shot him just to spite Johnny!) and there was a shotgun guard and a bunch of passengers--including Jamie West dressed in blue. We stopped the stage and started unloading the passengers.
Sheriff Goode and a dancehall girl were inside--I made them stay in the coach where Ahumado could cover them with his rifle. There was this man named Rhett and his wife, Scarlett, and they were loaded with
cash! There was also a new school teacher heading for town, but she was broke--like all teachers--so not much there.

Anyway, I ordered the guard to throw down the strongbox and he did, but Ellen climbed up on the back of the stage and saw another strongbox and a bag of money hidden among the luggage. And Billy the Kid spotted a THIRD strong box hidden under seat. It was quite a haul! Even
when we split the money up among so many of us, we'll be stinking rich!!

Back in town, Ellen went to the hotel to get some rest and I took the opportunity to go down to the Wild Horse to see Katie, the blonde saloon girl I've been visiting whenever Ellen ain't around. She was glad
to see me and we had a few drinks and then started dancing . . .

All of sudden, I heard a SCREAM! There was Ellen!!! I was caught in the act, with the blonde in my arms!! Faster than lightning, Ellen pulled leather and drew down on me! I tell you, that girl is fast on the draw . . . I pulled Katie down behind the bar and crawled out the back door and ran down the alley. Ellen chased after me, firing her pistol. She almost got a couple of times before she had to stop to reload. At that point, some of Johnny's posse came out of nowhere and grabbed her--before they came for me,
I took off. But, darn the luck, they got my share of the money as well as
Ellen's, because she was holding the loot for me! I shouldn't have trusted a woman . . .

I grabbed my gear and hit the trail! I'm kind of sad to be going, because I had a really good time here in Indiana. And, you know, I think I might have actually been in love with Ellen--at least for a few days--I really liked that girl! She was a lady after my own heart--an outlaw!!
But, I'm Sam Cobra, I can't be tied down to just one woman and she was way too jealous of me.

And, I made some good friends here, too. It was nice to see ole' Dangerous Dan again and work with him on a job. And the Comanchero and Ahumado are first-rate villains! I'll buy them a drink any time.
Billy the Kid is kinda scary--he seems like he might be crazy or something, but he has the reputation as a tough man and he was easy to work with. The Mexican senoritas all love him and a lot of folks say he isn't all that bad . . . but Sheriff Pat Garrett really wants to catch him . . .

I stole a horse and headed out . . . as I rode toward the railroad station in downtown Indianapolis, I saw Professor Jim and his wife, Brenda, and I stopped to talk to them for a minute. Sure enough, they were suspicious, but they hadn't heard about the stagecoach robbery yet. Jim asked me where I was going and I told him that I had decided to move on. He nodded in that professorial way of his and shook my hand and wished me luck. He seemed kind of sad to see me go . . . heh, heh, heh . . . if
he knew how much stuff I was stealing from him, he would be HAPPY to see me leave!

So, as I head out for a new destination, I'm taking along a few items from Professor Jim's: a deck of cards, a Bible that the Preacher gave me, and this sweet Cobra rig made by Stevo that the lovely Ellen gave me before our true love was lost (along with our money!) in the heat of her jealousy . . . she sure blew it, but at least I don't have to take her with me . . .

Heh, heh, heh! I got away again! I wonder what I'll steal when I come to your place?

On the Run, Again,

Runaway Sam Cobra

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Sunday Febrary 20th, 2005

Hey, Sam Cobra here....Well, Well, you thought you would get me huh Mr
Goode???Well, you failed. Just like that Garrett will! I would have Jane
say hi but she is gagged at the moment. Lets just say she is in my
control at this time... The Sheriff does not know it, but I also took
gold from Janes purse....too bad for Mr. Goode! These handcuffs worked
great thanks to Jesse. Hang in there Jesse, Sundance and the boys will
bust ya out real soon. I have the law on my trail, I need to move.
Several other Sheriffs were coming into town as I was leaving. There was
a darn right posse coming my way. I feel bad I never got a horse. The
stables were loaded, the Ranch had some great wagons, I really wanted
the Surrey. Goode really busted my plan. It was a nice visit here in
Rochester, but it is too cold. Whats with all this snow? Ice? bye for
now. You guys will never catch me. I have Jane, If that Garrett knows
whats good for him and the West family, he will trade well to get Jane
back in one piece. Be Good Johnny, take care of the ranch (or whats left
of it)...

Sam Cobra

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Figures, first thin' when I gets there, get hit up by some Canuck
lookin' for a passport. Gave him a hard time but now I'm on new
ground so a little cautious. Mountains everywhere, ranches, oil,
lookin' pretty good right now.

Hit a new town, Cochrane, end of the cattle trail from Texas. Should
be easy to hide out around here. First, need me a bath and haircut.
Hit a barber and get a bath, hair and beard trim. This guy gives
some potion that takes the grey out of my hair and beard. Woww, look
like I'm ten years younger and maybe this will thro the gang offin'
my trail. Ahh, clean clothes, fresh bath, got my boots polished.
Felt bad that I had to steal his horse!!

On my way to Calgary....

Sam

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Thurday, May 11, 2005

Sam here again!

Well, I've had an interesting week here - by and large - I'd say. With air miles really piling up I arrived in Toronto feeling down right irritable and cantankerous. Dang shipping box was alright for the first few hundred miles but those mail carriers sure ain't concerned none for a poor outlaw like me. Darnit, I needed sleep in a bad way. But I quickly learned there are Mountain Puma's in these parts. One snuck up while I was getting some shut eye and scared the living daylights out of me! I'll tell you something about feeling one of them old puma cats breathin' down your neck. The thing dang near ate me for supper! I git shivers every time I think back to my first night - just reinforces how I always gotta sleep with one eye open.

After settling down and getting some sleep, I discovered I had a cousin here. He looks a lot like me, but clean shaven. Nice fella, gave me a real fine bowie knife and sheath. Matches my rig like something out of a Sears & Robuck catalog.

My cousin and I took a tour of the area and I discovered that these parts are real historical. "Mimico" means home of the wild pigeons in the language of the Mississauga Indians who inhabited this area long ago. Wild pigeons or city chickens I was starting to feel mighty hungry. What I learned though was that these here Mimiconians (as they call themselves) are very patriotic and have a real standup cenotaph dedicated to their fallen local war heroes. Dang whole thing near brought a tear to my eye.

Later, I happened upon some actors who said they were involved in a movie being made here, in 'Hollywood North' (as it's known). The next day I visited the set of my newfound actor friends and I even got a chance to show my acting ability. "To be or......" Best I forget that one.

I met this Mountie named Potts. He doesn't suspect who I am. Even got a snapshot with him. Can't say I ever laughed so hard after pulling one over on that old Mountie.

I was able to access a computer and discovered that I have a wanted poster out there with a price on my head! Shucks, I've just been having a wee bit of fun. But I better keep a low profile though. The news has even made it to the Toronto newspaper. These little kids, newsies, sold me a paper with my picture in it.

While I was sipping my coffee that Mountie and Sheriff Goode came to arrest me. Must have been those newsies who ratted me out. I even paid them to keep quiet. Luckily for me, I have friends in these parts, and I was able to escape on that Mountie's horse. I ditched the horse a little while ago and I'm getting my tail out of here! It's high time I move on. Better than a cat, I've got more than nine lives......... Look out ranchers..... I might show up on your doorstep!!!